CHAT
Reciprocal Survival in Divorce
Here are 50 ways to apply the principles of reciprocal survival to divorce.
1. Agreeing on joint custody.
2. Setting up a fair visitation schedule.
3. Sharing the cost of children's expenses.
4. Keeping communication open and respectful.
5. Making decisions that prioritize the needs of the children.
6. Resolving any co-parenting disagreements amicably.
7. Learning to separate martial disputes from parenting responsibilities.
8. Ensuring both parents have an active role in their children's lives.
9. Ensuring each parent gets quality time with the children.
10. Keeping the children's living situation as stable as possible.
11. Agreeing not to speak negatively about each other in front of the children.
12. Creating a consistent set of rules and values in both homes.
13. Continually expressing love and validation to the children.
14. Making major decisions about the children's future together.
15. Prioritizing cooperation over personal differences.
16. Keeping each other informed about the children's activities, performances and achievements.
17. Attending children's important life events together.
18. Exhibiting mutual respect during drop-off and pick-up times.
19. Using neutral locations for exchange if necessary.
20. Requesting third-party mediation to resolve conflict.
21. Taking parenting classes to better handle the transition.
22. Understanding that each parent's relationship with the children is unique and valuable.
23. Speaking directly to each other, not using children as messengers.
24. Adjusting schedules as needed to accommodate children's activities.
25. Organizing regular family meetings to discuss issues and concerns.
26. Seeking professional help to guide through the process.
27. Ensuring both parents are included in understanding children's academic progress.
28. Sharing the responsibility of driving children to their activities.
29. Setting up agreed upon boundaries and expectations.
30. Resolving any guilt or negative emotions to provide a healthy environment for children.
31. Setting aside personal differences for children's special occasions.
32. Reassuring the children that they are not the reason for the divorce.
33. Maintaining a consistent bedtime and routine in both homes.
34. Regularly updating each other on the children's health issues.
35. Creating a parenting plan together.
36. Dividing the holidays fairly.
37. Continuing to celebrate children's birthdays together.
38. Allowing the children to have an honest and open dialogue about the divorce.
39. Letting the children know their feelings are valid and important.
40. Discussing new relationships or step-parents before introducing them to the children.
41. Encouraging the children to have a relationship with both extended families.
42. Developing a mutual support system for the children.
43. Exchanging emergency contact and pertinent medical information.
44. Mitigating influence of new relationships on children's routine.
45. Ensuring children have personal space and belongings in both homes.
46. Talking through changes with the children ahead of time.
47. Giving each other time to adjust to the new arrangement.
48. Regularly reassessing the arrangement as children's needs change.
49. Celebrating the children's achievements together.
50. Remembering that the goal is to uphold the children's best interests.
Reciprocal Survival in Divorce